When I was twenty

I’ll be one year from 30th birthday soon. Just couple of days ago I caught myself thinking ‘When I was 20, I thought my life would be so different when I reach 28.’

I didn’t have any plans, no visions, no pictures in my head of what I should look like, or how exactly I should lead my life but I did have some guidelines. I always have guidelines. One thing that I really don’t like to lose is the guideline for living the life. 🙂

When I was 20, I thought that as soon as I finish uni I’m going to find a great work, something that feeds my grey cells, some intellectual, exciting, always-on-the-movement type of work. Of course, I didn’t know what I wanted to do exactly. I’m good at working with people and I enjoy that, and I love to travel and learn new things so I had the preferences buuuuuuut, when I finished uni and when I sat foot into the job pond to go fishing for a work that would fit my character and my field of study, I realised that things won’t come that easy. I guess that was the first shock, the first turning from perfectly straight highway to a rocky road.

From my first employment until now, I have worked in at least 5 different fields of work. I learned lots of things and I met  many, many amazing people. I managed to get an insight into different jobs. If you think that now I know better what I want to do in life, professional life, well – I don’t! 😉 But I have learnt more about myself and I have enjoyed the process.

When I was 20, I had no idea that relationships would be so tough and that I won’t have always the same people around. Probably if I knew this then, it would make me really sad. Some people entered my life and some have left it, and all of them made a special mark  in my life. Some relationships are not as strong as they used to be and some have become more firm. I am happy for every person that has entered my life, even when the ending wasn’t that sweet.

When I was 20 I never thought that I would be a volunteer, nor that I would share a flat with 10+ people. I had no idea that I would move away and move back to my parents. When I was 20 I had no idea that politicians could make me that much angry. When I was 20 I had no idea that I would be a solo traveller and that I would crash on a couch of a complete stranger.

When I was 20 I had no idea that life is a web interweaved with so many stories. I had no idea that it would be this complex and beautiful. I had no idea that so many things could happen in 5 years time, and that so many people would enter and leave my life.

When I was a young woman of 20 I just thought it’s going to be more simpler, more like a straight line, like a highway. Instead there are more curves, more ups and downs, more excitement, hilly parts and valleys, lots of emotions.

When I was 20 I had no clear picture of what I expected my life to look like when I would be 28, I just had guidelines: to be happy, to explore, to love, to smile, to tell stories, to change the things that make me upset or sad, to listen to my body and on the list goes. I hope when I’m 29 and 30 and 31 and so on I will not lose my guideline for life on the way.  With it on my mind it will be easier to go through hilly, unexpected parts of life.


2 thoughts on “When I was twenty

  1. thanks! it’s always nice to hear this phrase ‘happy birthday!’ :), it’s like having my own day again and again …hahha 🙂 I thought I was a Gemini, but it turns out I’m a Cancer ! 🙂 (21 June)

  2. I love this post. You are right: life is complex and beautiful and if there are no rocky roads and sharp curves, we’ll never learn or progress. Happy birthday! I know it was some time in June because you’re a Gemini 😉 (June 4??)

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