Handling criticism is never easy to do, for me at least..
I never know whether to just smile along and let it pass, bark like a dog, ignore it, listen to it and try to understand the message the other person is trying to get through..
well, each time I adopt a new role depending on who the speaker is and what he/she is saying.
Just the other day among the list mentioned above, I decided to make a good laugh out of it For the sake of all parts involved in a conversation that choice was the best one. Otherwise, the planets might have changed their shapes and orders if I were to if I were to put my angry face on .. I managed not to hit the roof!
Friend came over for lunch, friend that I haven’t seen in a year and one that I find really dear (even after awkward remarks yesterday).
I woke up that morning and after a quick brekkie I headed for the nearby market. Bought all the ingredients I needed to make nice and scrumptious, all-veggie risotto and a few side dishes.
I really enjoy cooking and I like every step of it ….so the lunch was all ready and the table was set. My friend arrived just on time. It was great to see him again. I thought we have lots of catching up to do…but the first remark he made, after two minutes or so, was that I have changed a bit.
It started with these remarks and it continued in the same tone…I didn’t know whether to laugh or to get angry so I decided to laugh along and tease him a bit..because as I later realised – I’m gonna hear a lots of remarks like these ones as long as I live in Split or in Croatia..it’s just the air and philosophy that goes with this area and its people who give their opinion on other people and their lived in such an unsubtle and smarty pants way when discussing other people’s private lives and their problems.
yap, we are famous for that! I just keep forgetting that and it strikes me each time I spend sometime away from Split and its personalities!:)
So to go back to my friend…on and on he went about my few kilos extra (that I gained over three-month stay in Scotland where I pampered myself with all types of cheesecakes, muffins etc), worrying about not having started my dance classes yet and then this criticism flow took a different shape; it shifted to the lunch that I prepared and put so much love and care in preparing.
‘I have only one remark’, he said as he placed his fork and knife on the plate that marked an end to his lunching.
‘What?’ I asked, while trying to figure out whether there is a candid camera somewhere hiding where I couldn’t see it….
‘It was too salty’, he said with a self-righteous tone.
‘I’m sorry to hear that’ I added in a lightly laughing tone.
‘No fret’, he answered as if forgiving me and without realising this laughing bit in my voice.
Do I need to stay that I really, totally, completely did noT enjoy that lunch. What’s more, that was defo one of the worst lunches ever, ever, ever!
I couldn’t hold back any longer, so I said to my friend that next time that he pops by for lunch, I’m gonna fry him an egg but a sugar topping so it’s not too salty.
After that I guess he got the message.. He asked me if I like pasta.
‘I’m not picky about food’..well, he should know that as we have known each other for 27 years now…but anyhow…
Next time the lunch is on him or he will get a fried egg if I am to cook lunch.
I did have a good dinner that day that I really enjoyed. I love to have company while eating but I guess sometimes IS better to eat alone!;))
I guess he got the point (I hope soo!!:)) & I bet I won’t be that critical about his cooking…